I like even numbers better than odd. There is something about being divisible by two that makes them better in my mind. Easier to manipulate and move around. So many permutations, ways to arrive at that number.
But, this number, 41. Odd. And not even divisible, just a prime number.
It stands alone.
(well, along with 23 and 19 and 3)
It’s doing its own thing.
I have an intention for this year of 41.
My life is so. damn. good. I have success in my career, I do work I care deeply about. I have a home that is warm and comfortable, I have running buddies I meet up with two mornings a week. I take care of my mind and body – reading, and exercising and eating well. I volunteer during the winter. I help make the world a better place. I have friends all around and I make other people (and myself!) laugh. I have traveled and been to so many beautiful places in the world.
And still, I am alone.
I don’t say that to say that life is not good. It is. But, I would like to see about adding more.
I have an intention.
I have struggled with being open, of cracking open my heart and letting the light in. Of trusting and being fully known. There’s a gazillion reasons, or maybe only a handful. And knowing the past, knowing those reasons, is just an intellectual exercise, so instead, the work is in being present and tending to that crack, prying it open, working on it each. and. every. day. (whew….).
An intention for 41. An intention for a year that is all that it is.
I read on Elephant Journal recently, “But these days I am too old for girls [boys] and too young for marriage: I am just right for a relationship”.
Yes, that’s it. I am not ready for marriage, but too old for boys and their little games. I am ready for a relationship. Prime for one, you might even say.
And so this, my friends, here is my intention.
This year, this year that stands alone, will be my year to find my partner. This will be the year that I open my heart, and find this man who is ready to see me and be patient with my tender little, scaredy-cat heart. The one that is adventurous and passionate, kind and gentle, sexy and strong. This partner who wants to journey with me – both literally and figuratively.
This, this is my intention for 41.