Finding my heart courage

I have a lot of courage.

I have brain courage, and get-on-a-plane-by-myself courage.  Trekking-courage, and solo-trip-courage.  I have going-out-to-a-bar-alone courage and ski-courage.  I have mountain-courage and night-courage and trail-running-courage.  I have work courage for days.

But, I don’t have heart courage.  I don’t have I-am-worthy courage.

At least, not yet.

I am afraid when I don’t get a text back.

I am nervous when I think I have said the wrong thing.

I don’t trust that I am worthy of the enough – whether a date or a call back or…. whatever.

I don’t believe that if he doesn’t call back, it’s about different needs, not about me failing, or not being enough.

Yet.  I am not there yet.

I mean, rationally i get all that.  Rationally, I know that none of that is true. If a friend came to me and told me all that – I would tell her how ridiculous she was and tell her all the ways that she is amazing and wonderful and fantastic and a shining bright light of a gift to the world.

But somehow…. I forget to tell myself that.

So…. onwards.  Onwards to find that heart courage.

To treat myself like my own best friend.  And to be my own bright shining light.

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “Finding my heart courage

  1. Have you listened to the podcast Strangers? It is SO good. But I just recently listened to her 4-part series called Love Hurts and I thought it was an insightful (sometimes whiny, but overall good) look into dating in our 30-40s. You might like it!

    On Fri, Dec 12, 2014 at 8:28 PM, “Courage con Corazón” wrote: > > Aurora posted: “I have a lot of courage. I have brain courage, and > get-on-a-plane-by-myself courage. Trekking-courage, and > solo-trip-courage. I have going-out-to-a-bar-alone courage and > ski-courage. I have mountain-courage and night-courage and > trail-running-courag”

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s